Rescue Is Part of Their Story, Not Their Personality

I hear the words “they’re a rescue” used to explain so many things.

They’re nervous because they’re a rescue. They don’t like men because they’re a rescue. They bark at other dogs because they’re a rescue. If they are worried about being touched, we can find ourselves wondering what must have happened to them before they came to us.

Sometimes a dog’s past shapes how they feel about the world. Of course there will. But being a rescue isn't a personality type, and we don't always know what happened before they came into our lives.

I think we have to be careful not to fill in the gaps for them.

We don't need to create a story about a dog's past to take seriously what they are telling us now. If something worries them, that matters. If they need more space, that matters. If they don't enjoy something that we hoped they would, that matters too.

For me, it comes back to seeing the dog in front of you.

We are always getting to know them

I have had Ori for over a year now and I am still discovering things about him.

There are little preferences I hadn't noticed before, things he particularly enjoys and things he would rather avoid. Different parts of his personality have appeared as he has settled into our family and our life together has changed.

I don't think there is a point where we can say, “Right, I know this dog now.”

And I rather like that.

Dogs are living, changing beings. The dog who first arrives in your home isn't necessarily the dog you will know a year later, and even then they can still surprise you.

Perhaps one of the nicest things we can give a rescue dog is permission not to arrive as the finished version of themselves.

I'm a dog trainer, but my dogs don't spend their lives being trained

People are sometimes surprised when I say that, apart from my collie, I haven't done formal training with my own dogs.

That doesn't mean there aren't boundaries. Of course there are.

We have to live together. I need to keep my dogs safe and they need to be able to live safely alongside the other people and animals around them. Sometimes I need to prevent something from happening or say no. Having a relationship based on understanding doesn't mean dogs simply get to do whatever they like.

But boundaries are very different from believing that our relationship with dogs needs to revolve around control and compliance.

My dogs learn because we live together. We get to know one another, develop routines and find ways of communicating. I can arrange their environment to make things easier for them and support them when something is difficult. Where it is possible and safe, I want them to have choices.

Most of the time, I simply want them to be dogs.

I want them to be able to sniff, sleep, potter around, have preferences and enjoy the things that matter to them. I don't need them to love everybody they meet or be interested in every dog. I don't need every moment we spend together to become a training opportunity.

Ultimately, I want them to have a happy existence.

Rescue dogs don't need another set of expectations

There can be enormous pressure when we bring home a rescue dog, particularly because we so desperately want to do the right thing.

We may already have an idea of the life we're going to give them and the dog they're going to become. Perhaps we've imagined the walks we'll take together, the places we'll visit or the relationship they'll have with our children, friends or other dogs.

But then an actual dog arrives.

They might not want the life we imagined for them.

The dog we thought would love long walks might prefer a quiet potter and plenty of time to sniff. The dog we hoped would come everywhere with us might be happiest at home. They may not want to meet every dog or be fussed over by everyone who visits.

That doesn't make the adoption unsuccessful.

It means we're getting to know them.

Sometimes what looks like a problem is actually information. When a dog says they aren't comfortable, I want to listen to that rather than immediately deciding that their response needs to be trained away.

There may absolutely be things we need to work on, particularly where safety or welfare is involved, but understanding needs to come before trying to change behaviour.

This is why Family Dog Mediation makes so much sense to me

Being a Licensed Family Dog Mediator fits very naturally with the way I already think about dogs.

It encourages us to look beyond the behaviour we can see and consider the whole dog. Their genetics and natural tendencies matter. Their previous learning and experiences matter. Their environment matters, as does how they are feeling physically and emotionally.

That is particularly important with rescue dogs because we may never know their whole story.

We can spend a lot of time asking what happened to them before, or we can become curious about what the dog living with us now needs in order to feel safe and have a good life.

Sometimes training will be part of that. Sometimes changing the environment will make the biggest difference. Sometimes we need veterinary support, and sometimes we simply need to take some pressure away and give the dog more time.

There isn't one answer because there isn't one type of rescue dog.

More than a year later, Ori is still showing me who he is

And I hope he continues to do that for years.

I don't need to have him completely worked out. I need to keep paying attention to him.

There will always be boundaries in our home because that is part of living together. But beyond those necessary boundaries, I don't want my dogs' lives to be about constantly meeting human expectations.

I want them to have space to be themselves.

A happy life together doesn't need to be measured by how many behaviours a dog has learned or how obedient they are. Sometimes it is much quieter than that. It is seeing a dog becoming comfortable enough to make choices, knowing where they like to sleep, recognising when they need some space and discovering the things that genuinely bring them joy.

More than a year after Ori came into my life, I'm still learning those things about him.

For me, that's part of the magic of sharing our lives with dogs.

Thinking about adopting a rescue dog?

You don't need to wait until your dog has arrived, or until something has gone wrong, to ask for support.

I offer pre and post-adoption calls where we can talk about the individual dog you're considering, your family and the life you hope to share together. It is a chance to think things through without judgement or pressure and make decisions based on the dog in front of you.

Send me a WhatsApp on 07917 868838 and tell me a little about you and the dog you're considering.